Mm, I know. And I can do it. It's not even completely acting. They mean something to me even if it's not real. Just.
I think having to pretend, remembering those things that aren't real and Mom and Dad at the same time . . . It makes it harder in a way. I almost feel like I'm betraying both sides at once -- my parents here for pretending to be someone I'm not, and my parents at home for pretending about the ones here. Or . . . not even pretending, fully, because I do care about my parents here. I can't help it. Even though I don't really know them at all.
[She draws a breath on the other side of the screen, steadying herself.]
I don't expect Shinichi to solve that. I don't think it can be solved. I just . . . I don't like it. I hate it. No one wants to have to pretend their way through life. Right? In its own way . . . I think it makes you feel even more alone.
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Mm, I know. And I can do it. It's not even completely acting. They mean something to me even if it's not real. Just.
I think having to pretend, remembering those things that aren't real and Mom and Dad at the same time . . . It makes it harder in a way. I almost feel like I'm betraying both sides at once -- my parents here for pretending to be someone I'm not, and my parents at home for pretending about the ones here. Or . . . not even pretending, fully, because I do care about my parents here. I can't help it. Even though I don't really know them at all.
[She draws a breath on the other side of the screen, steadying herself.]
I don't expect Shinichi to solve that. I don't think it can be solved. I just . . . I don't like it. I hate it. No one wants to have to pretend their way through life. Right? In its own way . . . I think it makes you feel even more alone.
As far as Conan-kun . . . no. I can't do that.