Mouri Ran (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
singlefaith) wrote in ![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png)
applenet2017-08-12 08:33 pm
singlefaith) wrote in applenet2017-08-12 08:33 pm
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Ran Mouri
rmzepar@applenet.net
Shared the following message below:
Shared the following message below:
I had a few questions to ask, if anyone can help:
1. Has it ever happened before that someone hasn’t completely Awakened? I mean . . . they remember some of their memories, but not all of them, and they never made a pact and never had anything appear like everyone else?
Is there a way to get them to Awaken completely?
2. Has anyone seen someone named Shinichi? He's been on the app before. I don’t know how to contact him otherwise. I don’t even know who he’s supposed to be in this place. He told me a few days ago he’d talk to me, and he left the app abruptly, and I haven’t seen him since. Is there a way to find out where he is?
(Shinichi, if you see this, you’d better say something!! You’re making me worried.)
3. Not quite as serious, but still important –- I need a place to practice karate. I guess I never learned it here, but if things are going to happen like that last battle, I need to make sure I practice and keep getting better. Does anyone else practice too? Having a partner –- or partners –- would be good!
Thank you!
private message
Maybe giving it time will help.
I don't know the kid that well, but from what I know of him, I think it would upset him more if he knew there was something he could do to help and he wasn't.
private message
[The words slip out, wry, before she can check them, but she finds that she means them. They are -- she is -- so helpless in all of this right now, swept up in whatever forces are at work.]
[She finds herself with the urge to laugh suddenly -- it's just all so mind-bending -- but bites it back.]
It's fine. I'll be okay. Just time like you said, right?
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Ran. How are you really doing?
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[Shinichi knows her well -- better than almost anyone, with perhaps the exception of her parents. What he doesn't know, he can often deduce. There's probably no use in hiding, but she can't help feeling suddenly exposed by the question. Staring at her phone in the wake of it, she's quiet, a flush creeping to her cheeks. She pulls her eyes away as though he were right there, watching her face and waiting for an answer.]
[Still, the question is there, and no matter how long she avoids it, it'll be waiting for her to answer.]
I'm scared.
[She's already admitted to this, and it's easiest.]
And overwhelmed.
This place . . . it's nothing like home. We're supposed to take on responsibilities we never would have had, lie to the people around us and be people we aren't . . .
Someone took our memories. They took us from our world and planted us here and made us forget who we were. And the only way out is to pull out our own hearts and fight . . . but if we lose, we'll be exactly like all the people who apparently came before us. And if that happens, I don't think we'll ever see home.
It's hard to be okay. It's hard to pretend everything is all right.
And it's the worst at night when it's quiet and empty and only just me.
I'm scared. I can't stop being scared.
Re: private message
What could he say, that would be enough. That would help her, even though he couldn't be here for her in person.]
I'm sorry Ran. I wish I could say that I had a solution, but the truth is that it seems like this isn't the kind of case that can be solved quickly.
But at night... Text me if you need.
[First he'd had his body and life stolen away at home, and now even his memories here. Even now that he had his memories back, he prefered not to think about what else this place could take away from him. ]
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[But.]
I'm glad you're here, Shinichi.
I will.
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Ne, Shinichi?
What did you mean back then -- "I'm lying to my best friend"?
private message
You remember something from all the way back then? That's impressive.
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Shinichi.
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...For once he was glad that he was nowhere near Ran at the moment. It kept him out of the danger area.]
Pass.
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It was about me, then, or you wouldn't be so evasive.
[Really, though, Ran, the wording was "I'm lying to my best friend. She keeps asking when I can see her again, and I tell her I'm busy. But the truth is that I'm always by her side." Who else could it have been about?]
[. . . Probably she was hoping it wasn't true. Even though the secrets had been dragged from them by the app, to accept that it was true meant accepting the hurt that came with it.]
You are lying, then. About your case at home. That's how you show up those times so conveniently. Isn't it?
So . . . you are close. You are nearby.
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Sorry, Ran. I can't tell you that.
[Even as he said that, he knew that she might grow to hate him for this. It would hurt, more than anything he could imagine. But he could take it, if only it meant that she was safe and away from the danger in his life. ]
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[She needs to find out where he is. And why he won't tell her any details. All of this seems to mean that he's at least in a similar situation to whatever it is at home. Somehow whatever it is very possibly got echoed here.]
[. . .]
["Always by her side," though -- what does that mean?]
[For not the first time, she thinks of Conan. She's suspected him before -- even gone so far to try to trick him into a confession. They're so alike sometimes -- even though Conan is definitely sweeter in temperament overall, more awkward, more humble than Shinichi ever is. They're still so alike, though, it's hard not to think of him.]
[But even though she's suspected Conan before, she's always had to discard the idea -- and she has to do the same now. Teenagers just don't turn into children in her world. In the past she's thought that Agasa could overcome that, but he's really more of a mechanical inventor than a biologist or chemist -- not someone who could affect someone's very physique and age. It's just too complex and delicate for the tinkering, elderly man.]
[. . . Admittedly, she also has to think -- or hope -- Shinichi wouldn't be lying to her just because of something that Agasa did. It seems too cruel. For all that Shinichi doesn't always express his feelings well, doesn't always consider others, he's not cruel. Hiding in plain sight, seeing how his absence has affected her, seeing her watch and wait and worry . . . it's too much. She can't believe that of him -- or at least she doesn't want to. She'd have to completely re-evaluate everything she knows about him.]
[Plus -- and it's almost reassuring in a way with the thoughts above -- there have been times when Shinichi and Conan have been in the same room together, both looking back at her at the same time, both engaging with her. That's not something that can so readily be managed. It's not as though Shinichi can be divided in two.]
[No. There has to be another explanation. And she'll find it, whatever it is. She'll find him. And if he's in the situation where he's lying to her, she needs to -- both for him and for herself.]
You'd better have a good reason for all of this, Shinichi. And not just one you think is a good reason.
[She wants to be angrier about this. But it's hard to be angry when she's also scared.]
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There is a reason. I don't know if there is such a thing as a good enough reason. But I'll tell it to you one day.
I promise.