COUNTDOWN: I SEE YOU

[cordibus]

Seven days remain.

The warning bells of the Nightly Curfew ring across the city. There's a faint hum from the phone this time before the icon appears. This time it displays a time: 1:00AM

The rest of the night is normal. Perhaps you've cuddled up with family, or you've gone to bed early to wait, but sure enough, time tick by right until 1 in the morning when....

You're back into that application again. A single question before you're even permitted to type anything else. And while it seems to be overwritten by something inside of you, it feels a lot more natural than before. Which is, truthfully...troubling.

But then something happens...

WƎ☹C!ERROR!OMƎ ▒ O ▒ HƎ FIN⟡☹ QUIZ!!ERROR!!ERROR!
⟡nƧwƎ!ERROR!r from ▒ hƎ hƎ⟡r▒ , ▒ hƎ p⟡r▒ of you ▒ !ERROR!h⟡▒ h⟡Ƨ bƎƎn dƎniƎd for f⟡r ▒ oo ☹ong.

Is your ☹ife here ⟡ ☹ie?
YƎƧ | DƎfini▒ Ǝ☹y | ƧurƎ | I'vƎ hd my !ERROR! doub▒ Ƨ bƎforƎ, bu▒ yƎƧ | HƎ☹☹ YƎƧ | ▒ hƎrƎ iƧ no o▒ hƎr conc☹uƧion | I wiƧh I cou☹d dƎny i▒ nd ☹ivƎ hƎrƎ pƎcƎfu☹☹y !ERROR!bu▒ i▒ 'Ƨ ▒ ruƎ.

▒ h⟡nk you...!ERROR!▒ h⟡▒ wi☹☹ bƎ ⟡☹☹. ☹Ǝ▒ uƧ ƧƎƎ wh⟡▒ your hƎ⟡r▒ b☹oo!ERROR!mƧ in▒ o...

I SEE YOU.

What had just happened? Before you can think about it for too much, and as your heart beats faster, the screen returns to normal, and another message flashes.

Well shit. Lets try this again. Answer from the heart, the part of you that has been denied for far too long. DO IT QUICKLY!

Is your life here a lie?
Yes.

Sorry lambs, this time we can't kid around...

Once you are done, you are tossed once more into the main chatroom. Is fear rising? Is your heart beating faster? There's a lot more at stake now it seems. Fortunately, your user names are the names that you wrote down in the last survey, but with all those questions it's....hard not to think of them as your own. Maybe you'll be cursing at this device, but it looks like you're already deep down the rabbit hole by now.

And now...something's might be looking right back.

[OOC: This is one of the final network post before Awakening. ALL Users will now be able to speak of who they are in their AU life without the information being blocked by the application.

Additionally, while speaking, Applenet might spazz out, like above. If this happens, a random painful memory will hit both Awakened and Unawakened (please warn if the visions are graphic for other players). They might find themselves writing down things afterwards regarding the memory (for example, getting shot, they might write down the pain they are felling, etc) and regretting it. This can happen up to 5 times per user.]

Comments

[kouteipenguin]

Please don't kill anyone here.

[blackdogdown]

Huh? What. Kiddo, killing people doesn't make you crazy. Its work. I don't plan on killing guys here at random. That's just asking for trouble.

[ Not "its morally wrong" its "asking for trouble". Gut's worldview is a funny thing.]

[kouteipenguin]

[Yeah. Uh. Trouble should be the last thing that comes to mind for why not to kill someone. This is the exact opposite of reassuring. All those people who said 'yes' to killing.... and now he finds complete proof of one who did so without a problem...]

I can't know that for sure when it was a suggestion you made.

[blackdogdown]

Usually a battlefield is a lot easier to find. When I was a kid we just rode a few days until we got to the next one. Dunno, wasn't really thinking about the situation here and now.


I don't kill civilians anyway. Women and children and stuff. 'S not my job.

[kouteipenguin]

What if it was your job? If someone paid you, would you then?

[hachitaro]

how about

we dont do that

[kouteipenguin]

Agreed completely. But I need this guy to say it.

[blackdogdown]

That I wouldn't do it? Well. I wouldn't. Being a mercenary is different from being someones weapon. I pick what battlefields I die on.

[Now for revenge, it would be different. But Guts isn't so greedy to kill innocents for money. ]

[hachitaro]

good because otherwise i would punch you

and also probably break my hand but id try :(

[blackdogdown]

You can punch me whenever you want no murder required. I don't really care.

[hachitaro]

id like to keep my hand unbroken thanks

[blackdogdown]

Smart man.

[hachitaro]

i have my moments

[blackdogdown]

Most people don't when it comes to that.

[kouteipenguin]

[he doesn't see the distinction at all, but it's a relief to hear that this guy's got at least some standards.]

If you don't want to be someone's weapon... why do it at all?

[blackdogdown]

[This is getting way to personal.]

Cause killings all I know. I was on the battlefield when I was to young to realize what killing someone meant. I never learned how to do anything else well. Didn't have no passions or dreams. Just a sword.

I tried to stop once. Just give it all up. Hurt to many people. You know what happened? My body moved on its own to survive, was like nothing else.

When I fight, I know I'm alive. Sorta the only reason to it for a long time. Then I found people I wanted to protect and then well...

That enough?

[kouteipenguin]

[No, it's not enough. But not because it's insufficient information. It's not enough because...]

I can't accept there's truly nothing else. I just can't.

[blackdogdown]

Really? Trust me. I'm not a very complicated guy. Thats the long and short of it.


Its ok if you think I'm a bad person ya know? I won't take it personally. You can think what you want about who I was at the time. Just know, I haven't killed anyone here yet and I don't plan to.

[kouteipenguin]

[Though he won't say it, it's probably clear enough. Kidou can't not see him as a bad person. Anyone who willingly kills can't be a good person, especially if they do it for money. He means every word he says: he can't accept this. All Guts is to him is a murderer.

And that's going to eat away at him, too. The other half of this person isn't one, but Kidou's immediately condemning that person because of the 'true' nature. Shouldn't he just accept that much? That he's not killing anyone here right now? Shouldn't that be enough?

But what happens if the only thing his true self knows comes back...

It takes a bit for him to reply.]

Is that who you are now?

[Someone who DOES NOT KILL PEOPLE, he means.]

[blackdogdown]

Theres only one "me" I think... I won't shy away from what I've done for morals sake. I killed people. I enjoyed it. I don't think I can ever stop being a person like that once I've started. Mercenaries aren't the greatest people, they don't really hang around in normal society for long.

But I don't...really want to kill anyone here? I don't have a reason to. Dunno if I really feel like the person I was here anymore, but its not like I couldn't be satisfied with his life.

[kouteipenguin]

If you really won't... then...

I have no choice but to accept that.

[See? Repressing emotions and shoving himself and his opinions aside helps everything! There's no problems here at all and this won't come back to bite anyone ever.]

[blackdogdown]

Oi!

[ Guts tries to be gentle with kids, he really does, but he hates repeating himself even more. ]

What were we just talking about? You're just lying to yourself now. If you hate me, hate me. You think I can't take it?

[ If he was in person this would be when he would have jabbed Kidou in the chest, but instead he just settles for typing especially forcefully. ]

I ain't claiming to be no great person to you. Hell, far from it. I know what I am but seriously kid, do you? If you can't form an opinion that isn't acceptance, how can you ever expect people to respect you?

[kouteipenguin]

[That was not what Kidou was expecting. Maybe he should have. It fits with what this guy told him before. But no one has ever gotten after him for backing down and suppressing his opinion on someone for any reason. Wasn't that what he should be doing?

But...to be asked how he can expect respect by attempting to force himself to accept the situation...?

What?

To accept a middle ground and attempt to, if he can't understand, work with the best case provided is to seek a way to move on. It causes neither of them to lose face... right? It's true that he can't accept this person for who he is. It's true that doesn't sit well with him. None of what he's learned does. But... it's also true that he shouldn't say such things so overtly...

Guts gets to wait a solid minute or two before Kidou can figure out how to reply to that.]

It's not that I have no opinion.

[blackdogdown]

And that's the problem...


[ He lets that sit for a while. ]

Look I don't know what happened to you in your fucked up little life. And I don't care. [ He cares immensely. ] It's not my business and you can think what you want about it. But there ain't nothin that pisses me off more then a guy saying one thing and thinking another.

[Lost his temper a little there....forgot that swearing at kids was bad now...could he edit messages on this thing? ]

Hrgh. God kid. I know you said you didn't have to change this second but you didn't have to spring that on a guy not five minutes after he finished talking about it. Gonna make an unreasonable guy like me a little snappy

[kouteipenguin]

[And Kidou's not inclined to say what he's been through, either, so that works out. He doesn't expect he'll need to or that almost anyone here particularly wants him to.

It's not too often he can't deal with a conversation, but this would be one of those rare instances. Shame of failure hangs heavy, even though he's done exactly what he knows he ought to be trying to do. But he won't apologize for what he's said.]

I understand.

[He's trying.]