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COUNTDOWN: I SEE YOU
The warning bells of the Nightly Curfew ring across the city. There's a faint hum from the phone this time before the icon appears. This time it displays a time: 1:00AM
The rest of the night is normal. Perhaps you've cuddled up with family, or you've gone to bed early to wait, but sure enough, time tick by right until 1 in the morning when....
You're back into that application again. A single question before you're even permitted to type anything else. And while it seems to be overwritten by something inside of you, it feels a lot more natural than before. Which is, truthfully...troubling.
But then something happens...
WƎ☹C!ERROR!OMƎ ▒ O ▒ HƎ FIN⟡☹ QUIZ!!ERROR!!ERROR!
⟡nƧwƎ!ERROR!r from ▒ hƎ hƎ⟡r▒ , ▒ hƎ p⟡r▒ of you ▒ !ERROR!h⟡▒ h⟡Ƨ bƎƎn dƎniƎd for f⟡r ▒ oo ☹ong.
Is your ☹ife here ⟡ ☹ie?
YƎƧ | DƎfini▒ Ǝ☹y | ƧurƎ | I'vƎ hd my !ERROR! doub▒ Ƨ bƎforƎ, bu▒ yƎƧ | HƎ☹☹ YƎƧ | ▒ hƎrƎ iƧ no o▒ hƎr conc☹uƧion | I wiƧh I cou☹d dƎny i▒ nd ☹ivƎ hƎrƎ pƎcƎfu☹☹y !ERROR!bu▒ i▒ 'Ƨ ▒ ruƎ.
▒ h⟡nk you...!ERROR!▒ h⟡▒ wi☹☹ bƎ ⟡☹☹. ☹Ǝ▒ uƧ ƧƎƎ wh⟡▒ your hƎ⟡r▒ b☹oo!ERROR!mƧ in▒ o...
I SEE YOU.
⟡nƧwƎ!ERROR!r from ▒ hƎ hƎ⟡r▒ , ▒ hƎ p⟡r▒ of you ▒ !ERROR!h⟡▒ h⟡Ƨ bƎƎn dƎniƎd for f⟡r ▒ oo ☹ong.
Is your ☹ife here ⟡ ☹ie?
YƎƧ | DƎfini▒ Ǝ☹y | ƧurƎ | I'vƎ hd my !ERROR! doub▒ Ƨ bƎforƎ, bu▒ yƎƧ | HƎ☹☹ YƎƧ | ▒ hƎrƎ iƧ no o▒ hƎr conc☹uƧion | I wiƧh I cou☹d dƎny i▒ nd ☹ivƎ hƎrƎ pƎcƎfu☹☹y !ERROR!bu▒ i▒ 'Ƨ ▒ ruƎ.
▒ h⟡nk you...!ERROR!▒ h⟡▒ wi☹☹ bƎ ⟡☹☹. ☹Ǝ▒ uƧ ƧƎƎ wh⟡▒ your hƎ⟡r▒ b☹oo!ERROR!mƧ in▒ o...
I SEE YOU.
What had just happened? Before you can think about it for too much, and as your heart beats faster, the screen returns to normal, and another message flashes.
Well shit. Lets try this again. Answer from the heart, the part of you that has been denied for far too long. DO IT QUICKLY!
Is your life here a lie?
Yes.
Sorry lambs, this time we can't kid around...
Is your life here a lie?
Yes.
Sorry lambs, this time we can't kid around...
Once you are done, you are tossed once more into the main chatroom. Is fear rising? Is your heart beating faster? There's a lot more at stake now it seems. Fortunately, your user names are the names that you wrote down in the last survey, but with all those questions it's....hard not to think of them as your own. Maybe you'll be cursing at this device, but it looks like you're already deep down the rabbit hole by now.
And now...something's might be looking right back.
[OOC: This is one of the final network post before Awakening. ALL Users will now be able to speak of who they are in their AU life without the information being blocked by the application.
Additionally, while speaking, Applenet might spazz out, like above. If this happens, a random painful memory will hit both Awakened and Unawakened (please warn if the visions are graphic for other players). They might find themselves writing down things afterwards regarding the memory (for example, getting shot, they might write down the pain they are felling, etc) and regretting it. This can happen up to 5 times per user.]
no subject
But what hits even harder is the truth about what they were recruited for. Kouyuki had been given some idea previously, as much as could be safely said on the app, but no one had said anything about fighting things that weren't human.
He's not sure what he expected, but it wasn't that. And for a moment, all Kouyuki does is stare up at Guts. Uncertain.
It's a wonder he sounds just as much of a brat as he always has when he finally does speak up again, although his gaze averts to the side this time, to stare at the hollow in the tree that was going to be used as a hiding place.]
Oh? If you ran away, you wouldn't see anything anyway, so it doesn't really matter.
[They say salt wards off bad spirits. Maybe it wards off bad feelings, too?]
who is this sassy lost child
Do you know how I lost my arm Kouyuki... [A pause and he chuckles. ] Well er, not the first time. I think you know that one. But a month or so ago I lost this prosthetic in a fight.
No against a shadow, but a teammate. There's..I can't explain it. Don't know if I should tell you but...you'll realize things and it was just..to much for me to handle all at once. I went crazy. I attacked anything I could see.
[His words are soft, and Gut's tone is never pleading, never anything but gruff but he sounds so uncertain now. ]
This isn't a joke kid. This isn't like your TV shows or books. This...its..Theres something here and the person I was couldn't take it. I don't know what will happen to you if you go fight....You could run away to you know. I've been making plans all week. You could come with us.
u must mean guts
There's that sinking, churning nausea in the pit of his stomach again. That crawling beneath his skin. Like what he's hearing isn't a lie, and no matter how much he wants to refuse it, he knows that he can't.
But what he has control over, what he can refuse, is that offer.
He gazes at that arm, and then up at the older man's face, his own hardening, jaw setting stubbornly as he lowers his umbrella and begins closing it up. The rain hasn't lessened, but he has a point to make. One that can afford drooping hair.]
Hmm...but that's what happens when you don't think. You get hurt. Or hurt other people.
[He's a fine one to talk, but without anyone around who can point that out, he's just gonna keep on rolling! And do his best for now not to think too much about who exactly Gabe attacked. And if they are alright or not. He hopes so...]
Anyway, I'm not going to run, I've got to stay and protect my own family. So here. [He holds out his umbrella, the end dripping with rain water as still more rain beads off the canopy overhead and down upon them.] You need this more than I do.
Since you obviously don't know how to look after yourself.
HE IS TWICE YOUR AGE SHUT UP
I ain't someone to appreciate preaching when you don't know half of whats going on. You wanna protect your family and friends? Then you should be using me for all I'm worth. You can't cut corners protecting people. It has to be above everything else.
....You wanna look down on me for running? Fine. But you think I'll let you kill yourself over some misplaced superiority your damn wrong.
twice his age and twice as temperamental! also i'm sorry for all the tldr
...then the man standing before him really isn't the same person he thought. And that's arguably more terrifying than anything non-human he may have to fight in the days to come.]
I'm not...
[His fingers tighten around his umbrella and he drags it against his chest. How could he use anyone like that? How could he be so callous? It wasn't in his nature. He's not even sure it's in that bear-killer's nature, either. Shirou Fubuki, that boy with his face, he seemed kind enough. When he wasn't angry. And they shared something, the two of them: a determination to protect their friends at all costs. All costs, that was, except sacrificing others. Sacrificing himself, however...
"Stop! If you hit him, you'll be removed from the game!"
He gives a start when he recalls that first vision. The gruff voice of the boy named Someoka still resonates clearly, and his warning...it's not entirely unlike Guts'.]
You think I want to see anyone die, especially in my place? I don't! But I'm not going to sacrifice anyone to protect myself or my family. I won't...I can't do that!
NO I LOVE IT KEEP GOING
You don't want to see anyone die, so you'd rather sacrifice yourself so everything turns out happy right? You can't bare to see anyone you care about suffer so you'd rather make sure its you who does it instead.
[He straightens, eyes cold. The words run off like venom. He's so tired of seeing to young martyrs who think their own death with save those around them. ]
What sort of selfish protection is that, kid? You're hardly doing it for anyone's benefit. Unless you choose what you can or cannot protect, you have no place near whats going on this this city.
WELP...
I wasn't of any help. This isn't enough... I have to be perfect...!
Why? Why do their thoughts mirror one another now of all times?! Why does he feel the same fear that Shirou Fubuki felt in those visions, the same helplessness when faced with simply not being strong enough to win a fight? Hasn't he always relished such challenges? He'd even stood before Gabe in the past, fueled by the differences in their abilities rather than made afraid. But now...what if he's right?
Does he really have no place fighting? And if he doesn't...who can be trusted to protect Michi?
Michi...
His little brother. Arguably the healthier of them both, and the smarter, but still the younger between them. He has a responsibility to look out for him. And he can't do that if he dies.
Back straightening finally, Kouyuki lifts his chin and, with his free hand, pushes Guts' jabbing finger away from him.]
Shut up! Don't tell me where my place is! I know! It's with my brother, and I won't leave him to be protected by anyone else, especially not people who think like you!
[His chest rises and falls, and rises again, puffing up with a courage he knows he oughtn't have, and maybe only exists because to feel any more fear right now, to let that in, would mean the end.
Is this what it's like to fight a bear?]
If you're willing to use anyone, or throw anyone away, then the only one that's selfish is you!
no subject
[He hunches his shoulders and glares down. Part of him is actually pretty impressed with this kids determination. The other half is just plain mad. Freaking Kouyuki hitting as hard as possible huh? Just take his fucking money already kid. ]
I know I'm selfish. But I won't throw just anyone away. [He shoves the bag at Kouyuki.] If you are going to stay I won't let you go unprepared. Use it to protect your own brother.
no subject
But Gabe, or Guts, whoever he really is, won't hear any of it. As the bag is thrust at him, Kouyuki stumbles back a step and gawks down at it in his arms. Would this really allow him to better protect Michi and himself? Was it worth it to accept it, if it meant that this person would be without these items?
Does it even matter? It's not like saying no this time really seems to be an option, and so...reluctantly, his arms tighten around the bag and he nods.]
Fine...but when this is over, I'm going to give everything back. Because I won't need any of it to protect my brother. You'll see. I don't need handouts. I...can protect him with my own two hands.
no subject
Don't feel guilty, its not like I'm selfless enough to give you anything I'd really need.
[He nods. ] I ain't protecting your brother for you anyway. You gotta do that shit yourself. I got my own problems.
But we do know eachother, and you're a kid. It'd be a pretty shitty adult to not at least give you a leg up.
no subject
[Kouyuki shakes his head, and with the gesture, dispels thoughts of retreat. He may be unnerved, but more than anything else, he's angry. All these assumptions being made about him, from the very start they'd gotten under his skin. People telling him he wouldn't understand things, that he wasn't ready, and calling him a kid.
He's tired of hearing it. Like any of them know who he is. Gabe should, but...]
We don't know each other. You're not who I thought you were at all.
no subject
[He considers. If he's going to leave, he doesn't have much to loose. He might as well explain things. ] Its Guts, not Gabe. Gabe ain't here anymore. Gabe woulda stayed and helped but he's pretty much dead. I'm not him, but I can't help but think a little like him sometimes and he liked you, even if I don't know you.
[He shrugs] Maybe it'll turn out you aren't the person you think you are either. I dunno, I haven't talked to many people about this. It doesn't really matter though, does it. You're gonna stay and protect your brother either way.
no subject
Gabe woulda stayed and helped but he's pretty much dead. Pretty much dead. Pretty much...dead.
How can he just say that like it doesn't mean anything? How can he say it like it's not his fault?!
The bag and the umbrella both drop to the damp earth with a wet thump, a sound that's only muted by the angry scream that emanates from Kouyuki as he lunges forward. Fists clenched. Knuckles white. Both hands swinging for any part of the older man that he can reach.]
He'd still be here if it wasn't for you!!
no subject
He huffs before his brains turns off "I'm being attacked mode" and he realizes what he's done.
Part of him is horrified, but adrenaline still shoots through his veins, making a little hard to focus on things like morals. ]
Gabe wasn't real. He's just me without all the fucked up shit. Brainwashed by god knows what outta being everything I was. Its flattering you like him better, but he's as fake as everyone else here.
no subject
And he sits there a moment, chest rising and falling with angry breaths he can't quite catch, breaths on the verge of hyperventilating. Is he more hurt, more terrified, or more furious? He can't tell. He doesn't know. All that makes sense to him is everything Guts is telling him isn't real.]
They're not fake...
[Hands trembling, he pushes himself back up to his feet. It'd be best to stay down, probably. But he's always been tenacious. Especially when he's fighting for other people. And for his brother.
Nothing that hurt that much could really be a lie.]
Gabe was real! He was my friend! You're the one who's fake!
no subject
Everyone in your perfect sickening little life is as fake as he was! You're probably fake! Its all fake, fake fake down the core of this sick rotting world! It makes me want to puke. I shouldn't be here, Gabe never should have been here. I had a life somewhere else and I thought Gabes was maybe good enough a replacement but I was wrong
no subject
Artificial snow.
He's told himself again and again that it's a coincidence. For fourteen years he's lived with and loved his name. He'd never had any reason to doubt it or dislike it. Not until Luci appeared, and the app along with them.]
Shut up...
[He cradles his head in his hands, rain water dripping down his face.]
Shut up, shut up, shut up...!!
this tag was a mistake
Kouyuki, if thats who he even really is, its so disorienting it is, looking at someone who he's known for years but is a stranger. Someone who is about to realize what Gabe did in one horrible instant and theres nothing either of them can do to stop it.
No....better it be now. Not then, when he will be needed. If Guts was weaker, his breakdown would have cost him his life. ]
Its unavoidable. [Finally, he speaks, and his voice while angry, is tight and controlled. ] The you that is standing in front of me will be dead in a few days. Make your peace with it. Deny it. I can't control what you do.
everything hurts
Shakily, Kouyuki takes one step forward. And then another. But it isn't Guts he makes his way towards this time, but the bag and umbrella he'd dropped on the ground earlier. He'll take the things offered to him. And he'll use them despite saying he wouldn't. He'll use them to spite Guts for doubting him. He'll use them to make sure nothing bad happens to his family. And he'll use them to make sure no one else is lost the way Gabe was.]
I...I'm going home.
[But before he takes a step away from the tree and Guts, before he can turn his back on the man and all his lies, he has one last thing to say. Though he doesn't dare meet Guts' gaze this time when he says it, instead staring at the ground as if he'd like nothing more than to let his feet pound the earth and carry him far, far away from this moment.]
I'm not going to accept that I'll die just because you say I will. Because I've got something worth living for. And Gabe...I have to believe that he did too. And that maybe a part of him is still alive...because you're fighting to protect what he cared about most. Right? If that was all fake, you wouldn't bother...
no subject
....
[He doesn't have anything to say. He can't promise Kouyuki will lose anything, or keep anything. All he knows is what he experienced. ]
Good luck then. Probably don't mean much from me...but hope you and Michi get out alright.
[He doesn't say anything about what Gabe felt. Maybe he doesn't know. ]
no subject
He isn't ready to let go. He isn't ready to accept what this means.]
Don't worry about us. We're not your responsibility.
[Finally, Kouyuki turns and starts away. The sooner he gets home, the sooner he can pretend this never happened. That is...if he can sneak in the front door without anyone asking questions. Why is he drenched to the bone? Why is he covered with mud? Why is his hair disheveled and his eyes red? And what's in the bag...?
He might need Michi's help, a fact which plants a seed of guilt so deep he fears he'll never be rid of it. He's supposed to be protecting his little brother, not inadvertently dragging him into this mess.]