DEAL$ DEAL$ DEAL$

[truthkills]

Kiriya Kujo ⚔ Baalberith kkbaalberith@applenet.net
Shared the following message below:

alright so I'm trying to clear out one of the shop's back rooms for meetings but there's a lot of junk in there

and since some of it might actually be useful in all this crap, I am offering the blowout deal savings to you guys first, you lucky people


First off I got a case of these fidget spinner things you kids are so crazy about only I'm pretty sure you can actually weaponize them; there's no way they've passed through any sort of safety checks with as cheap as my other self here got this case for


I have no idea what this thing's actual purpose is except maybe to make family picnics fun and exciting with a new and unusual means of cutting watermelons but it too can be yours, just make me an offer


ranged and hand-to-hand combat all together in one weapon, you can't pass up this bargain. Ammo sold separately


You could probably hit someone with this if the colors didn't stun them first. clashes with my decor. Also has a tag on it that says "New Year's Eve 2013" so who knows what Kiran did with it, purchase at your own risk


if you need to punch someone and be fancy about it, I got you covered


I think it's a couch, it was under a bunch of stuff. all sales final, no returns


the rubber band ball in the back had a few problems but I think the rest of it is still good, perfect for flinging at enemies

I also have a lot of other fine merchandise that needs to move back here, just ask if you're looking for anything in particular

or come by Lazer's Pawn if you want to marvel at all this in person

Comments

Taro Watanabe ☸ Dantalion

[hachitaro]

oh my god they're all so stupid it's amazing

[truthkills]

I believe the word you're looking for is "awesome"

[hachitaro]

Stupid awesome?

[truthkills]

I'll take it

Chikusa Kakimoto ☸ Astaroth

[kokuyoyo]

It's only a matter of time until someone slices their fingers off with that first one.

[truthkills]

which is exactly why I'm thinking of using it as a weapon

and exactly why anyone buying one is going to have to sign some sort of waiver absolving me from any kind of liability

[kokuyoyo]

Smart choice.

I can't wait to see who makes that financial decision.

[truthkills]

so do I, honestly

like there's a very particular sort of individual this sort of product is meant for and I intend to find out who that is

Yui Kanzaki ☸ Amon

[mirrors_wish]

I don't even know what I'm supposed to say.

[truthkills]

preferably something like "wow, I love that great couch, but do you mind if I test it with my own blacklight before taking it off your hands?"

[mirrors_wish]

I can't believe I'm suggesting it but have you tried burning it?

[truthkills]

two problems:
1. would need a permit
2. not sure when it was made, what chemicals were used in its manufacture, and how flammable these chemicals are

I mean it could go up like a roman candle

Mukuro Rokudo | ☸ Andras

[possedere]

Does the employee discount still hold at these prices?

[truthkills]

I dunno, the employee discount was already pretty great

[possedere]

Was it now? Somehow I feel this hasn't been the case.

But if no one has a better offer for that couch, I'll gladly take it outside and burn it for free.

[truthkills]

but are you willing to go file for the permit you'd need to burn it out back

last thing I need is the police sniffing around just for that

[Don't mind him completely ignoring any and all questions about the employee discount.]

[forsteri]

You had all this just... lying around?

[truthkills]

it's a pawn shop so yeah, it was all back in storage

didn't know the couch was there, though, that was a surprise

[forsteri]

How do you miss that?

[Look at it.]

Nakigitsune ⚔ Camio

[foxhands]

i like the lamp

[truthkills]

you may be the only person in the city who does

come by and pick it up, then

[foxhands]

okay




is that fist thing made of diamond rings

Reimi Sugimoto ☸ Orias

[failedhandjob]

does the spider move on its own?

[truthkills]

sadly, it's only imagination powered

I guess it could move on its own if your imagination was really good

[failedhandjob]

weeeeell...i guess i was going to get pretty imaginative with it anyway.

[it's probably a bad idea to prank people having supernatural identity crises with a spider equipped with knives, but no one's ever said that Reimi's sense of humor was particularly wholesome.]

how much?