applenet | 6/3, afternoon

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6/3, afternoon

This is it, right? Whatever awakening is could be any time now... Honestly, I'm scared. I've never been this scared before, and I don't even get why. I want to say it's just an app or that it's just them trying to brainwash us or confuse us. I really want to say that. But I don't think I can anymore, it feels like I'm trying to deny something to say that. I really feel like I'm losing my mind. Maybe losing myself. I can't stand the waiting. That's the worst part. I can't pay attention to anything. I can't care about anything else anymore. This stupid app and its stupid hallucinations or memories or reprogramming are driving me insane. It's taken over my whole life! I couldn't sleep last night at all. Its dumb but I was scared to wake up. That's how much this gets to me. I hate it! I can't be the only one to feel this way, right?\ this got longer than I expected it to Have this as payment for reading, if you type random facts into google it gives you random facts.

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You're definitely not the only one.

How are you handling it?

Sticking with my family and some friends tonight. I think we're all scared at this point, but at least it helps to not be alone.

We'll be fine. Whatever it is can't hurt us if we work together.

[Though he's not sure how much of that he believes, himself.]

I hope so.

Before, I told you I didn't feel scared.

[Now he is. Sakuma Jirou is all he can think about. Sakuma Jirou, whose family he knows nothing about, who expects himself to have a dark place in his heart. A dark place that Yoshio knows isn't only Sakuma's.

Yoshio takes a long time to continue his message, but finally he does.]

That wasn't a lie.
But now I think... that's not true anymore.
Am I becoming someone else? Or was I someone else the whole time and didn't realize? Or maybe all of it is fake.
But we're all having them, aren't we? So I can't be crazy, unless this is a case of mass insanity.
But that seems unlikely, doesn't it?

I don't know anymore. Would we know if it's mass insantiy? It feels like it's been a year by now, doesn't it? That this has gone on for so long, or that it feels like everything's changing. The rest of the world is the same, but it doesn't feel like it anymore. It's as strange to me as this name is. Nothing really feels real anymore.

I don't know. I half feel like I'd rather be crazy than have this be real.

I don't want what I have to break.

[If his reality with Mako is destroyed... what does he even have left?]